Racial discrimination is usually noticed in public, workplaces or community settings. But it can exist in a relationship where one partner may be of a different race from the other, and one has an abusive personality.

It can be direct, like name calling, or making racially abusive comments about the colour of skin, or ethnic background, for example “wog” or “slit eyes” or “abo”.

An indirect method of discriminating or being offensive would be to comment on clothing, headgear or banning this type of clothing in the workplace, or perhaps in the home.


Sometimes the abuse involves the spiritual practices of the other person who may be of a different race as well. And so the other person may be prevented from practicing her religion, mocked, or ridiculed for her beliefs. She may be forced to act in a way which violates her spiritual beliefs.

The intent is to control, undermine the person’s beliefs, and destroy self-esteem and confidence. A woman may be controlled by having to live up to ever higher standards to please another religious person.

Churches and sects are known for mind control, and behavioural control of their “flock” who wish to please their leader. They are brainwashed into believing that they must try harder and harder in order to be “pure” or ‘perfect’ for the group.

Spiritual abuse can happen alongside other forms of abuse. Witness sect members “begging” for their existence. Members may take a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience (very convenient for the religious group).

It is essential in a democratic society for all of us to know our Human Rights, and to be clear about them and to insist on them. This will prevent many from being tricked, exploited, downtrodden or abused. (See Human Rights Page)

The abuse alleged in Married at First Sight was noted, but the series was left to run without official comment – for the purposes of entertainment. We now know that these simple abuses can be far more serious, and can escalate into open violence given the right conditions.

The total effects of domestic violence and other forms of abuse can be devastating in economic, emotional, and psychological outcomes. We owe it to ourselves and to others to be thoroughly educated about all its insidious forms and to resist them, and to understand and help others who have been unfortunate enough to have experienced them.

Serious abuse occurs PERSISTENTLY, and on a daily basis. This is why it is so devastating in its effects.

If an abused partner attempts to leave that is the most dangerous time as the perpetrator loses control and power and becomes desperate to stop this. So any exit must be carefully planned, and use the supports which exist in the community. A secret safe house is usually the best option.

There is much more that could be said on the topic, but this is a good start for understanding.

Domestic Violence and abuse are serious and heavy topics, but there is one dark “joke” I used to tell when talking about it.

The singer Tina Turner was abused violently by her husband Ike before she sensibly left him. It was reported that on one of these violent occasions when on the way to the hospital in an ambulance, with Tina seriously injured, that Ike said to her “If you die on the way to the hospital, I’ll kill you!”

© Kathleen Crawford 2017